your side of the bed
pillow’s still depressed
wishing
the smell of your head
could change what you said
crying
as you sadly left
the sweet life we led
trying
***
Mindfills for…
dVerse OLN Midsummer Live hosted by Björn
Go Dog go Cafe’s Donna Matthews – Today’s poetry form is called Lai Poetry. From Brewer, A nine-line poem or stanza that uses an “a” and “b” rhyme following this pattern: aabaabaab. The lines with an “a” rhyme use 5 syllables; the “b” rhyme lines have 2 syllables.
31 responses to “your side of the bed~ lai poetry”
Great, so simple, so true… Loved the use of trying to finish this perfectly.
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Trying…I liked that too 🙂
Thank you so much for reading. Means a lot to me that you wrote in
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Brilliant. Describes loss well in just a few lines. I’m going to give this style a go(DogCafe). =) Thank you.
♥.
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oops missed a “go” — *GoDogGo Cafe =)
♥.
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Glad you liked it 🙂 it was interesting to write. Thank you for reading ☺️
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My pleasure. ♥.
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So sad and poignant – the reminders that linger on after someone we love is gone!
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Thank you for your beautiful words. I’m touched that you understand 🙂
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[…] Written after reading Mindfills’ lovely and poignant poem “your side of the bed ~ lai poetry.” […]
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An intricate form, well demonstrated.
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🙏😊 thank you for your kind comment
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So heartbreaking!
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Sentiments… make us human…and write
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😀Thanks for reading and writing in
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Yes! A perfect subject for the poetry form…opening lines…
your side of the bed
pillow’s still depressed
and I could feel the sadness! Perfect!
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Thank you for your lovely words Donna 🙂
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deftly sketched, and deep as a well (whose water I yet drink) ~
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Oh wow! Thank you poet M 🙂
Your words made my day…and then some. Cheers!
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i like this form, it’s got a snappy feel to it. sad poem, i know that feeling of loss, well penned.
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You’re right! This poetry form is snappy 🙂
Something in the poem made you send this comment and I am so grateful to you.
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So sad that it has be this way. Wonderfuly lai poem. Have a good summer!
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💕thank you Grace. You have a great day ahead ☺️
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Oh this is piercing! So lovely in its tone and wistfulness 💝💝
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It’s is rather sad…it happened that way. Thank you for reading and your kind words🙏
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Heart’s sad emotions so powerfully expressed! Could not havebeen sadder , SS dear !
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I’m touched by your words. Thank you so much for reading ❤️
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Pleasure is all mine🌷 💕🙏🏾
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Also please go through my blogs and follow if you find it worth 🌷💕🙏🏾
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wowzers, Sangeetha – this is beautiful! I especially like your transition between the first and second triplets! That’s perfect.
This is a sad one though 😦
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It’s one that i like too 🙂 Thank you for reading
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❤
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